this would be me
I used to feel sad, every day was a struggle and I wanted to give up. I never said a word but I left messages in the street hoping for someone to notice me.
Sitting with my knife cutting myself I heard someone call out my name.
Out of nowhere I had this guy named Henric waiting for me. A shy boy that I met the first time 7 years earlier but never talked to. I know when we first started school, he came up to me and had that shy smile on his face and suddenly he asked if I wanted to come to his birthday party... I would be the only girl and I had never talked to him. There was one more thing, he was black and I had never talked to a black person before and I was so scared. Don't know why because my sister and brother are both adopted from Iran. I turned him down.
Anyway, back at the camp I was bleeding from my arms and in came this wonderful Henric. He got both of the doors open. Came in to the bathroom and shut the door with the two of us inside. He just held me in his arms not saying a word. Just having me in his arms, crying. I have never felt as safe as I did with him. From nowhere he decided to notice me, no one else knew about this and after a while when I'd settled down he started to wrap my arms and stop the blood from pumping out. He got me a huge sweatshirt to hide in and he never said a word to anyone. He kept me safe that whole trip and I still think that he is my guardian angel, my love for him will last forever and that is the one and only that gave me something to be proud of, I finally existed.
It all began for real at my first camp out with the kids my age, I ended up in a huge fight and I just wanted to take my own life. I locked the door to our room while the rest of the group had dinner, went in to the bathroom and locked that door to.This was the first time I've ever gone that far and I thank god for his support. This was not any camp, this was a camp with church and what I just told you is one of many reasons why this happened. The other was that one of the volunteers’ made me stay in his bed one night against my will. But that is another story. Don't worry, I am ok and I'm loving life. And I will always be thankful for everything that has happened; otherwise this would not be ME.
Thank you for reading my story, it might be too much to talk about here but this is why I think that everything that happens, happen for a reason.
